Relee the Squirrel's Domain

Breakfast at Tiffany's: Part One

by Relee the Squirrel

It was a dark and stormy night, raining cats and dogs, occasionally literally. My car broke down after a St. Bernard crashed into the hood. I wondered if my insurance covered dogs falling from the sky as I looked around for the obligatory scary house. There's always a scary house nearby when your car breaks down on a dark and stormy night, it's like the law or something, but I was sure having a hard time finding it.

I thought I saw a driveway leading through the trees off the road, but when I went to investigate it was just a muddy path where a car had run off the road. However, as I turned around my foot caught on a branch causing me to slip in the mud and fall over into the ditch. Letting out a quiet swear I dragged myself up the side of the ditch and onto the gravel shoulder.

Suddenly I heard something from above, a quiet howling, and before I knew what was going on I was knocked out by a falling border collie.

I woke up some time later out of the rain. I was laying in a plush bed, covered in heavy blankets. Someone must have rescued me from the rain, or kidnapped me. Either way promised to be really cool. Cozy as I was, I decided to just relax untill my savoir arrived.

I took stock of the room gradually, seeing that I was in a grand bedroom with antique wooden furniture. I was laying on a four poster bed with a lush red velvet canopy. A hardwood floor was covered in a thick persian rug. Looking into the mirror of a vanity against one wall I could see the blankets covering me, layers of heavy comforters, down filled by the feel. Whoever rescued me was loaded, I was sure.

Distant chimes of a grandfather clock rang out, letting me know it was 9 o'clock. I saw by looking at the bay window on the side of the room opposite the vanity that it was night. I wouldn't be going anywhere for a while.

I heard wheels squeaking from outside of the room, and soon after the door opened. A young woman entered the bed chamber, wearing a pink dress with a short skirt and many petticoats. Her blonde hair was done up in sausage curls, and she had a frilly white apron tied around her waist. She wheeled a wooden food cart into the room and up beside the bed, and smiled as she saw that I was awake.

"Hello." I said, sitting up in bed slowly. I took a quick look at the food cart and saw that she was bringing me a bowl of chicken noodle soup and a glass of orange juice. There was even a small vase with a cut tulip in water, to decorate the meal.

"It is good to see you are awake." said the maid, who spoke in a falsetto. With my background, I started to think this must be a sissy maid. "I found you out by the road, with a dog laying on your back." I rubbed the back of my head, it was sore from where the dog's skull hit mine, but I seemed no worse for the wear.

"My name is Arthur... How long was I out?" I said, trying to be polite before I got to the important questions.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Arthur." she said, in that high falsetto of hers. "You were asleep four two hours, after I found you... I don't know how long you laid on the road." It was late when I was out by my car, so she must have found me quickly.

"My name is Millie Melody and I am a maid in the service of Lady Tiffany Jewel, the owner of this manor." said Millie with a dramatic curtsey. She giggled at that, enjoying herself as she took care of me.

Millie served me the soup and insisted I stay the night. I had no complaints, though I worried about my car. Millie assured me it would be safe for the night, and she would help me get a mechanic out to take a look in the morning.

And so, soon after Millie left me, I had undressed and prepared to sleep in this fantastic bed. Little did I know what was afoot...

All Content Copyright Arthur Payne, AKA Relee the Squirrel

Last Update: January 6, 2009