Relee the Squirrel's Domain
Army of Cuteness Part One
by Relee the Squirrel
Hello there! My name is Relee; Relee the Squirrel. I'm a bit of an odd-ball and I seem to be a magnet for wierd things and strange adventures! Since you're here reading this, I guess you expect me to regale you with a story of some sort. I'm only too happy to oblige!
Now lets see...
One day, some unspecified amount of time ago, or perhaps in the future which has yet to come, I was out in a national park camping with my mates. We were having a jolly old time but I had eaten too much for dinner and decided to walk it off alone with a hike along one of the park nature trails.
It was a beautiful afternoon, and the sun was hanging lazily in the western sky amidst a few puffy white clouds. Birds were chirping in the trees and tiny insects were wandering all around, doing their business. I of course was looking quite good, being a young squirrel at the time. I was about three feet tall, with a nice coat of brown fur all over my body. To suit the terrain I was wearing a pair of thick hiking boots and I made sure to wear long blue jeans tucked into my fuzzy white socks to keep ticks away. Otherwise I had chosen a sporty little vest for that hike and I had my short head-fur tied up in pigtails.
I was walking up a hill through the sparse woods and I could see a clearing ahead. On the top of the hill was a field of tall yellow grasses, lightly swaying back and forth in the breeze. I took a deep breath of fresh air, and noticed a hint of a strange scent. I couldn't put my finger on it, but it seemed out of place in such a natural setting. Looking around I could see the clearing went on for at least thirty meters before turning back into sparse forest and going down the other side of the hill. The wood-chipped path of the nature trail curved through the grassy field like a snake before drifting off down the hill to the left of me.
I started walking along the trail again, my long bushy tail swishing back and forth cheerfully behind me. I was about half-way through the tall grasses when I heard something move. A loud swishing of the grasses nearby parting to allow a large thing to pass. I looked through the grasses but I couldn't see anything, so I stood still and waited. Maybe I'll get to see an animal in its natural habitat, I thought.
As I waited however, I heard another sound. A strange, high-pitched giggling coming from the grasses around me! I turned towards the sound and peered into the grass, but as I did I was pounced from behind! Knocked over onto my hands and knees I felt soft fuzzy arms wrap around my exposed tummy and hug me tight!
I heard them both, then, two of them were giggling. One was hugging me while the other emerged from the grasses in front of me. I was worried! They didn't seem familiar, definately not my mates. The fuzzy arms that hugged me were bright blue and misshapen, with thick arms and hands that looked like mittens!
I lifted my head and looked at the one emerging from the bushes. It was a chubby pink plush rabbit, fully as big as me! It had thick arms with mitten-like hands decorated by a white-furred heart in the palm, and its tummy was chubby and distended with a white patch decorated with a bright red heart. Its head was large, taking up fully a third of its height, and its massive ears tinged with white fluff defied gravity, adding an extra foot to its height and making it seem to tower over me. Its face was what really drew my attention, it had a white muzzle and huge white plastic eyes. Its nose was heart-shaped and shiny, it drew my gaze like a sweet piece of candy. It was almost hypnotic! The bouncing bunny before me was certainly alive, it lifted its paws to cover its rubber-buck-toothed mouth as if shy, and giggled at my predicament.
"It looks like we got you!" said the bunny in a feminine and very high-pitched voice.
"I got her tight, captain!" said the male-seeming blue plush on my back, his voice an octave deeper than the pink one, but still so high pitched that it sounded like a squeak-toy talking.
I tried to stand up, but the plush behind me pushed my legs out in front of me, forcing me to sit on my tush and look up at the pink bunny before me. I blinked my eyes and took a deep breath, about to yell, but the pink plush raised its mitten-like hand to it's mouth and seemed to 'shush' me, and I found myself compelled to obey.
"My name is captain Rosie Rabbit!" she announced, striking a pose with one hand on a hip and giving me a dramatic wink. "I sure hope you don't mind our silly little game, but we simply must take you to our castle and introduce you to all our friends!" she said, and at that point she turned around and pulled a red velvet bag from the bushes. Out of the bag she pulled a pair of baby-blue mittens, connected by a string. She slipped the mittens on my paws, giggling the whole time. The mittens felt tremendously soft, but so tight and cozy that I surely couldn't take them off. Next she pulled out a pair of baby-blue paw-shaped booties! Like the mittens, they were connected by a string, and she slipped them on right over my hiking boots. I don't know how but I could feel the softness right through my boots, and knew I couldn't get these booties off either.
Firmly bound as I was, the blue plushie let go of my tummy. I felt almost disappointed as his soft, fuzzy arms let go of me. His embrace was so strong but so tender. He circled around in front of me and I was able to see him for the first time. He looked much like the pink plush, but he was a teddy bear. His limbs and paunch were thicker than hers, and his white-furred tummy carried a mark of two hearts, one red and one pink, both smaller than captain Rosie's single red heart. He smiled at me and looked me over before holding out his mitteny paw to help me to my feet.
"This is lieutenant Cuddles, one of the best huggers under my command." said captain Rosie, introducing the blue bear. I accepted the bulky blue plush's paw and he easily lifted me to my feet. It seemed those plushies were very strong. "Now if you'll please follow us we can introduce you to all our friends!"
The two plushies led me off the nature trail and across the clearing through the tall grass. They gently helped me down the hill and through the woods for at least twenty minutes before we reached the plush compound.
It was an amazing sight, a whole plush building! Rather than fuzzy cloth it seemed to be made out of a shiny rubber, but the weight and give of it seemed to suggest it was full of stuffing rather than air or liquid. It was brightly coloured and stood out clearly in the woods. Its pinks and blues and yellows would be easily spotted from air, but it was carefully kept below the tree line so that you wouldn't see it before you were right on top of it. From appearances it seemed like a mix between a building and a plush animal. There were walls with low turreted fairy-tale towers, and there was a large lump of a roof on top of the thing's back. Tubular 'arms' and 'legs' were stretched flat on the ground, as if the massive plush was laying on its tummy. The head was what stood out the most, it served as entrance as well. A huge grinning row of teeth formed the gate leading in, but otherwise it was like the other plushies here. A short muzzle with heart-shaped nose and big white plastic eyes. It wore a conical hat like a fairy-tale princess, giving it a sort of regal guise as I was lead towards its grinning face.
Plushies of all colours wandered about just outside of the building, some keeping watch on the perimeter and others playing catch or leap-frog. On the farther outskirts of the compound I could see plushies riding on the backs on large rubbery creatures, like adorable ponies with long colourful manes of hair. A few others rode stranger beings, like massive plush dinosaurs and dragons. They seemed to form the heavy-infantry of this plush army.
Taken all together this was one of the cutest things I'd ever seen, mind blowing in its intensity and cheerful energy. This delightful scene held a grim purpose however, my captors leading me through the gaping maw of the compound building and through pastel coloured tube-ways and into an empty room. I was their prisoner, and this pink padded room was to be my cell. Lieutenant Cuddles removed the binding mittens and booties when I was safely inside, sitting me down on a bed-like protrusion of stuffing and fluff barely distinguishable from the walls of my cell.
Lieutenant Cuddles spoke to me when he was finished with the bonds. "I hope you're very comfortable here miss squirrel! We'll leave you to get aquainted with the room and some of our very special friends will be by to meet you soon. I'm sure you'll just love them once you get to know them!" he said, and he gave me just a little hug. His tender arms wrapped around me and gave a gentle but firm squeeze before he stood up and padded out into the hall. Behind him the wall itself constricted silently, sealing the exit and leaving me alone at last in a bright pink pastel room.
The room was spartan but cute, with bas relief images of hearts in the very plush lining of the room. A raised portion of the floor formed a bed, with a pocket forming something like a blanket. A table was there also, with two chairs, all made out of the plush substance of the room raised and formed into shape. Finally there was something that stood out against the pink fuzz, a plush flower like a daisy with a green stalk reaching into the plush floor and large white petals arranged around a yellow core. Sitting down on the bed I began to consider my predicament.
Though I didn't resist my captors, I did worry what their plans were for me. My thoughts turned to my mates in the woods camping. I considered trying to contact them telepathically, but then that would almost certainly be intercepted and lead these plush people directly to them. I decided to wait and find out the intentions of this mysterious group of creatures, and hope that my family would fare better than I did. I suppose it's only the truth to admit I was enamoured by the appearance and gentle manner of these creatures. They were cute, soft, and yet so serious and confident.
Left in the cell alone for some time longer than I expected I laid down upon the bed, above the pocket-sheet, and waited for what was to come. I was just about to fall asleep on the comforting softness of the plush bed when I heard a ringing of soft bells, and the wall opened into a door again.
"Hi-dee-hi!" sang out a plush voice, drawing my attention as I sat up. "My name is private Sunshine! It's so nice to meet you. I'm sure we'll be great friends!" she said, giving an animated giggle. I looked her over quickly, a yellow bear this time. The same size and shape as the others, but her white tummy had only a single small pink heart, slightly off center to her left. She walked into the room and the door closed behind her. I stood up from the bed, my eyes on her carefully, trying to judge her intentions. She simply walked over to the far chair at the table in the corner. "Please come sit with me, I'd like to tell you about all the things going on." she said, a permenant smile stiched on her cheery face. I went and sat across from her, not wanting to make any trouble, and then I stared quietly at her for some few minutes of silence.
"Would you like to hug?" asked Sunshine. I blinked in surprise, my paw reaching up to rub the back of my head.
"I don't normally hug people who kidnap and imprison me..." I said, not really sure what this cute bear had up her metaphorical sleeve.
Sunshine climbed out of her chair and stood in front of me. She smiled up at me, tilting her head to the side just a bit. "We like to think of it as making friends with you and bringing you home with us." she said, giggling. "But it can be really upsetting, and a hug would make you feel better!" she finished, spreading her arms out wide.
I gulped a little and leaned forward, picking her up and hugging her into my lap. These plushies weren't any heavier than a normal plush, I didn't know how they were so strong. I gave her soft body a squeeze, and smiled. It did feel really good to hug a plush, and she smelled so good. The smell was like what joy would smell like, if it was a scent and not an idea. It just seemed to soak into me as I hugged her, and I could still catch the scent on me even after I was done squeezing.
"We're all part of the happiness liberation movement." said Sunshine, nuzzling her plush muzzle into my chest. "We're traveling to all the worlds, freeing people from suffering and teaching them the way of love, joy, and happiness!" she looked up at me again, her smile seeming even bigger. "You get to be one of the first people from this world who get to learn all about being nice and happy and cute!"
I gulped heavily when Sunshine said that. "What about people who don't want to be nice and happy and cute?" I asked, paws trembling.
"Oh, once people learn all about the way of love, joy, and happiness, everybody will want to live that way! We make sure of it." replied Sunshine, hugging me gently but firmly. I felt a little queasy, and worried for all the people in this world who weren't interested in this sort of life.
Sunshine slid off of my lap and turned around to face me. She patted my knee as she said "I have to go now. I get to take care of a few other new friends! I'll come back later with some food for you." she started to move towards where the door appeared but I held up my paw in urgency.
"Before you go, um, do you know about life-forms like me? We have a metabolism that creates waste and..." before I could finish, Sunshine started giggling more than I had seen any of the plushies do untill now. "Oh well if you need any of those things taken care of, you can use the pretty flower over there." she said, pointing at the flower. "It'll take care of you! They're very friendly flowers." and with that the door opened and she walked out, closing it behind herself.
I looked over at the flower, raising my eyebrow quizzically, before shrugging in acceptance and returning to my bed. This time I slipped into the pocket-like blanket and snuggled up. I could still smell that joy-scent on myself even after Sunshine left. I spent some time wondering what this love, joy, and happiness training would be as I drifted off to sleep.
All Content Copyright Arthur Payne, AKA Relee the Squirrel
Last Update: January 6, 2009